I might be the worst blogger ever. there’s so much to tell but I often don’t have the energy to pause and jot down my thoughts and emotions in a coherent, interesting post. So you’ll have to deal with hearing from me once a month, when I am finally forced to process the past few weeks. I’ll be here in Talanga for just 5 more days before we head back to Zarabanda for a final week of training and then are sworn in as official Peace Corps Volunteers! Not much has changed since my last entry, my host family is still amazing, feeding me pancakes, French fries, and steak (I’m pretty sure that if I was to stay here for the entire 2 years of my service I would be 400 pounds). Training is going well-in regard to Spanish, I’ve advanced from Novice High to Intermediate Low! Yayyy!! In order to be sworn in, I have to end training as Intermediate Mid, so one more level to go!

I have officially been in Honduras for over two months! Ahhhh! And so far, I’m loving it. I love the slow pace, that buses run 2 hours late because the driver wants to stop and play cards at the local pulperia, that strangers are greeted with snacks and coffee, that schedules are never followed and plans are forever changing. I’m sure that the next two years will be filled with the frustrations that come with working in this environment, but for now, I feel like the girl who loves chaos and spontaneity, who is averse to all things rigid or punctual, has finally found her niche.

For the most part, life is pretty rosy, but there have been really bad days and moments of failure. I’m learning that the key to sanity here is to not take myself too seriously, and to look at each day with new eyes.

Por ejemplo:

Awhile ago we went a local school and talked with 5-6 year olds about dental hygiene. IN SPANISH. We split up into groups of 4 and went to different classrooms, armed with games and colorful posters. So we’re there for an hour talking about cavities and brushing your teeth. At the end of this talk, we decide to ask the kids questions to review. Starting with what I believe to be a no-brainer, Stacie asks “Que es un carie?” (What is a cavity). A girl in the back enthusiastically yells “Repollo!”(Cabbage). Ohmylord. Something went seriously wrong there. Whether it was the language barrier, complete disinterest, or some other freak occurrence that causes kids to connect cavities with large purple vegetables, we’ll never know, but somehow, the message wasn’t clear.

moments like that keep me grounded. They remind me that I’ve got a lot to learn and that the best laid plans often end in fiasco or misunderstanding. It’s also a reminder that in the midst of programs and projects, my focus has to be on creating relationships and learning from my community. Because the instant I let my pride convince me otherwise, I’ll completely miss the point and be caught yelling “repollo!” at the end of my time here.

In other news, my self directed project is going super fab! Part of our training consists of going to work in a school twice a week with a team of 3-4 other aspirantes. I do believe that I got incredibly lucky and have the best team and the best school! We’ve had around 45 kids every time, and that in itself is a crazy miracle with the teacher strikes going on. Those definitely merit an explanation

I’ll do my best but I’m not sure that I understand the situation completely.

Here goes:

Ok. So here in Honduras, the teachers have been on strike for the past 4 weeks. The reason given for the strike is dependent on who you ask, but I’ve gathered that there are a couple of factors. According to the teachers, the government is attempting to pass a law that lays the foundation for the privatization of schools. This, along with the fact that the government has been pulling money from their “social security” fund has the teachers up in arms. Add that the teachers union is bigtime powerful here AND that the teachers haven’t been paid in months and you will understand the why the situation is kind of intense. If it doesn’t get resolved soon, there’s talk that this school year won’t count and the kids will have to start over in Feb. I will just suffice it to say that this has been incredibly frustrating to witness.

Back to my self directed project. Next Thursday, we’ll be having a parade through the town, complete with masks, instruments, songs, and dance! For really great photos of the kids’ masks and fuego shakers, I’ll refer you to the blog of my dear friend Lisa Lavezzo because you guys know that I’m so not tech savvy.

Que mas? Oh! On Wednesday, I’ll be finding out the location of my site where I’ll be living for the next two YEARS! Ahh! I’ve received some hints and have been told that I will be in a rural community that is in the mountains near rivers. Super exciting!!

Ok. I’m going to go ahead and post! Love love love to any and all of you who read this!

1 month down!

lo siento to anyone who has checked my blog for updates in the last month! it has been a whirlwind of change, beauty, and stress. I have now been in Honduras for 35 days and i am completely in shock over how quickly time has passed. i have another 5 weeks of training and then i'll officially morph from a Peace Corps Trainee to an actual Volunteer! so exciting! as for updates, i'm not sure where to begin. here's my best try:
I am currently in Talanga, Honduras for Field Based Training, which is basically a time where we receive specialized technical information regarding our specific project, mine being youth development. It's where they attempt to give us a taste of what it will be like to actually be a volunteer. My day begins with INTENSE language classes from 730-1130, lunch with my familia, and then more training in the afternoon that focuses on issues specific to youth development.
the days are long, but the other trainees are so much fun. i've definitely found kindred spirits-wonderful people who are positive and so happy to be here.
for all of you who teased me about the food here-suck it. my host mom owns a restaurant (my casa is directly behind it) and the food is AMAZING. i have steak and french fries for lunch with a watermelon milkshake. i am loving life. i'm pretty anti-frijoles, which is kind of a huge problem here. the Hondurans are incredibly creative when coming up with ways to serve beans. i've had them fried, refried, smashed, thrown in a blender, boiled, liquified, with eggs, with plaintains, with butter, with breakfast, with avocado, as a snack, on chips, on tortillas, deceivingly shaped like a sausage patty (unbelievably huge letdown) and numerous other ways. it's incredible really and i would be impressed if i wasn't filled with dread every time i spot them in a dish.
my host family here is absolutely wonderful. my mom owns a restaurant and is incredibly tranquila and then i have three sisters, three primas, three dogs, and a baby chick! it's hectic, chaotic, and just the way i like it! for those of you who are familiar with my luck theory, i've shaved off several good years of my life because of how awesome my host families have been. i am currently the only trainee in talanga to have a washer and dryer. bah! i count my blessings daily.
there are so many interesting stories i could tell, so many beautiful moments that i need to share, but my time is short! one of the most hilarious parts of honduras that has to be mentioned are the piropos. Piropos are the Honduran equivalent of catcalls and they're one of the best parts of my day. when a woman walks down the street, honduran males often find it necessary to yell certain expressions of admiration. Some are poetic, others crude, and they're often mildly creepy (i.e. when i hear a kissing noise from the deep recesses of a building. sketch). "Bonita gringa", "Usted es guapa", "I love you", and "Mi amor" are very popular, along with some other more graphic phrases.
though life here is stressful and i miss home a great deal more than i expected, i find myself laughing often-at myself, at situations that would only happen here in honduras, with other aspirantes, and at the sheer insanity of the fact that i will be spending the next two years of my life in this country.
all in all, life is so so abundantly good. i have been cared for and taken care of in so many ways and am truly living the adventure i dreamed of. more posts to come-i should have pretty steady internet for a few weeks! love, love, love!
"Making your mark on the world is hard. if it were easy everyone would do it. but it's not. it takes patience. it takes commitment. and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. the real test is not whether you avoid this failure because you won't. it's whether you let it harden of shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."

VA for eight days. :)

i hate early morning flights.

As knows anyone who has been my friend or roommate for any amount of time, I become a monster if i am forced to be awake prior to 9am.
this is sometimes a shock for people, since I am usually happy and chipper. but there is something about the early a.m. hours that brings out the worst in me.
don't look at me, don't touch me, and if you talk to me, the best i'll be is unresponsive.
so, leaving my home at 430 am to catch my flight to VA was basically hell.

but today, as i flew to baltimore and then sat and waited for our flight to norfolk, i was reminded of why i've always loved airports. i love watching both the farewells and the reunions, witnessing children shouting upon sighting their grandparents in the crowd, the tearful goodbye as a parent watches their kid head off on a great adventure, the embraces exchanged between husband and wife, or sister and brother. it's real and it's raw and you're left wondering at the way that we're all living out a similar story of introductions and goodbyes, lives of transition and the struggle to hold on to what's important in the midst of a world that's everyday changing.
but enough about that. :)
i'm currently in petersburg, VA, visiting my grandfather for the last time before i depart for honduras! i'll be here 'till sunday, and am then packing up for washington, d.c., to see my best friend meggo for memorial day! in other news, i've decided that i am SO not a fan of virginia bbq. annnnnnd done.

"...of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings."

Exactly one month 'till i pack up my bright yellow duffel and jet off to Houston, TX, where i'll begin orientation for the next two years of life as a Youth Development Peace Corps Volunteer!! over the past few days, i've been an emotional wreck, vacillating between extreme excitement over what's to come and heartache over all that i'm leaving behind. when this dream of joining the peace corps was first born, it was so far off, and the day when I would have to say goodbye to family and friends seemed so very distant. with 30 days left, i'm struggling to see all the people i love, to visit every place that has been near and dear to my heart. it feels sometimes as though i'm attempting to have enough conversations/coffee dates/movie marathons/beach days to tide me over for the next two years. and yeah yeah, i know that those years will be filled with new friendships and new beautiful places and people, but it's difficult to imagine life without the old familiar faces, the girls that i've grown up with, who knew me when i was awkward with bangs and braces and loved me regardless.
but...
despite all of that, i feel an overwhelming sense of excitement and anticipation for all that's to come. it's hard to imagine what life in honduras is going to look like, but it is without a doubt going to be the adventure of a lifetime.

i have yet to pack/purchase anything. i should probably get on that. it's just a little bit of a daunting task to think about packing for the next two YEARS. but like everything else so far on this journey, it'll work out, it'll get done, and it'll be fine.
feeling so so very thankful for the life that i live. :)

big news!

ok, so this morning, upon checking my email, I saw that my applications status for the Peace Corps had been updated. After clicking the link and logging in, I found that I have now officially been invited to serve as a Peace Corps volunteer!!! After calling the placement office and begging for additional info (they refuse to tell you the country/departure date/etc until you get the packet in the mail), the woman told me that I’d be leaving June 22 and I’d be serving in Central/South America.

Now, due to my extensive stalking of the Peace Corps wiki, I know that the only country leaving on that date and within that region would be Honduras.

i have mixed feelings about this. i know this is probably going to sound selfish and horrible, but i’ve already been to Honduras. and granted, i went to like 2 cities, but i guess a small part of me was so excited to join the Peace Corps and serve in a country that was completely foreign to me, a place that was exotic and new. and Honduras just seems kind of tame.

and then the much saner, more optimistic part of me shouts “DUDE, you’re going to be there for two years and there’s no way that anything on earth can prepare you for that. do you really think that your onetime, 8 day trip showed you everything??”.

i think that if i was really honest with myself, this is about pride. I wanted to be able to brag to my friends that i was going to a place off the map, a place that they had never heard of. and really, i need to get over it and be thrilled for the chance to serve wherever the heck I’m needed. so come june 22, i’ll be boarding a plane, gearing up for the next big adventure. i’m unbelievably excited.

welp, here we go...

so, with my departure date for the Peace Corps fast approaching, I figured I should probably start one of these things. I've always been reluctant to have a blog because I have never felt that my thoughts and ideas are interesting/intelligent/witty enough. but here i am, a college graduate with a new chapter of life waiting to be written, and i feel like the time is ripe for me to jot life updates for those i'll be leaving behind in a few short months. I still feel a little presumptous and silly, and perhaps a tad vulnerable, but here goes nothing!
peace corps.
for those of you who don't know, my post-graduate plans consist of packing up and heading out for a 27 month adventure serving in the Peace Corps. In January, I was nominated for a teaching position in Central/South America departing in June. Welp, it's now May and I've yet to be medically cleared. i guess whenever you have childhood glaucoma, your medical history becomes a bit more complicated. needless to say, the past 4 months have been a whirlwind of faxes, emails, doctors' appointments, and phone conversations where I begged various offices to send information to the men and women who were holding court over whether I was ok to serve in a foreign country with limited medical resources. As of now, I'm in an awkward state of limbo, where I could be leaving as early as June 22 and as late as September. Though most would be panicking about the seriously ambiguous state of my summer, I am surprisingly at peace. I feel like (fingers crossed!) that my next two years will be filled with obstacles and frustrations and this is just a slight taste of what's to come, and I'd be wise to learn well these lessons about patience, perseverance, and timing.
it's surreal to think that my college years are now over. the past four years have been the best yet, but i think that's why i was able to leave without a whole lot of sadness. I guess I just feel like my time was well spent, that i created friendships that are deep and meaningful, that I was challenged by my professors and gained a little bit of insight along the way. and with all of that within me, i was able to leave believing that life still holds greater adventures and even better years. it was still difficult though to say farewell to a place that was the center of so many joyous occasions, triumphs, failures, fearful realizations, and beautiful moments. but, onward to new people and places. :)
I'm not really sure how to end these entries. tonight i'll close with a beautiful passage from the book i'm currently reading. from Marilynne Robinson's Gilead:
"I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens its eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then has to close its eyes again. I know this is all mere apparition compared to what awaits us, but it is only lovelier for that. there is a human beauty in it. and i can't believe that, when we have all been changed and put on incorruptibility, we will forget our fantastic condition of mortality and impermanence, the great bright dream of procreating and perishing that meant the whole world to us. In eternity this world will be Troy, I believe, and all that has passed here will be the epic of the universe, the ballad they sing in the streets. Because I don't imagine any reality putting this one in the shade entirely, and I think piety forbids me to try" (57)
annnnnnnnnd done.