VA for eight days. :)

i hate early morning flights.

As knows anyone who has been my friend or roommate for any amount of time, I become a monster if i am forced to be awake prior to 9am.
this is sometimes a shock for people, since I am usually happy and chipper. but there is something about the early a.m. hours that brings out the worst in me.
don't look at me, don't touch me, and if you talk to me, the best i'll be is unresponsive.
so, leaving my home at 430 am to catch my flight to VA was basically hell.

but today, as i flew to baltimore and then sat and waited for our flight to norfolk, i was reminded of why i've always loved airports. i love watching both the farewells and the reunions, witnessing children shouting upon sighting their grandparents in the crowd, the tearful goodbye as a parent watches their kid head off on a great adventure, the embraces exchanged between husband and wife, or sister and brother. it's real and it's raw and you're left wondering at the way that we're all living out a similar story of introductions and goodbyes, lives of transition and the struggle to hold on to what's important in the midst of a world that's everyday changing.
but enough about that. :)
i'm currently in petersburg, VA, visiting my grandfather for the last time before i depart for honduras! i'll be here 'till sunday, and am then packing up for washington, d.c., to see my best friend meggo for memorial day! in other news, i've decided that i am SO not a fan of virginia bbq. annnnnnd done.

"...of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings."

Exactly one month 'till i pack up my bright yellow duffel and jet off to Houston, TX, where i'll begin orientation for the next two years of life as a Youth Development Peace Corps Volunteer!! over the past few days, i've been an emotional wreck, vacillating between extreme excitement over what's to come and heartache over all that i'm leaving behind. when this dream of joining the peace corps was first born, it was so far off, and the day when I would have to say goodbye to family and friends seemed so very distant. with 30 days left, i'm struggling to see all the people i love, to visit every place that has been near and dear to my heart. it feels sometimes as though i'm attempting to have enough conversations/coffee dates/movie marathons/beach days to tide me over for the next two years. and yeah yeah, i know that those years will be filled with new friendships and new beautiful places and people, but it's difficult to imagine life without the old familiar faces, the girls that i've grown up with, who knew me when i was awkward with bangs and braces and loved me regardless.
but...
despite all of that, i feel an overwhelming sense of excitement and anticipation for all that's to come. it's hard to imagine what life in honduras is going to look like, but it is without a doubt going to be the adventure of a lifetime.

i have yet to pack/purchase anything. i should probably get on that. it's just a little bit of a daunting task to think about packing for the next two YEARS. but like everything else so far on this journey, it'll work out, it'll get done, and it'll be fine.
feeling so so very thankful for the life that i live. :)

big news!

ok, so this morning, upon checking my email, I saw that my applications status for the Peace Corps had been updated. After clicking the link and logging in, I found that I have now officially been invited to serve as a Peace Corps volunteer!!! After calling the placement office and begging for additional info (they refuse to tell you the country/departure date/etc until you get the packet in the mail), the woman told me that I’d be leaving June 22 and I’d be serving in Central/South America.

Now, due to my extensive stalking of the Peace Corps wiki, I know that the only country leaving on that date and within that region would be Honduras.

i have mixed feelings about this. i know this is probably going to sound selfish and horrible, but i’ve already been to Honduras. and granted, i went to like 2 cities, but i guess a small part of me was so excited to join the Peace Corps and serve in a country that was completely foreign to me, a place that was exotic and new. and Honduras just seems kind of tame.

and then the much saner, more optimistic part of me shouts “DUDE, you’re going to be there for two years and there’s no way that anything on earth can prepare you for that. do you really think that your onetime, 8 day trip showed you everything??”.

i think that if i was really honest with myself, this is about pride. I wanted to be able to brag to my friends that i was going to a place off the map, a place that they had never heard of. and really, i need to get over it and be thrilled for the chance to serve wherever the heck I’m needed. so come june 22, i’ll be boarding a plane, gearing up for the next big adventure. i’m unbelievably excited.

welp, here we go...

so, with my departure date for the Peace Corps fast approaching, I figured I should probably start one of these things. I've always been reluctant to have a blog because I have never felt that my thoughts and ideas are interesting/intelligent/witty enough. but here i am, a college graduate with a new chapter of life waiting to be written, and i feel like the time is ripe for me to jot life updates for those i'll be leaving behind in a few short months. I still feel a little presumptous and silly, and perhaps a tad vulnerable, but here goes nothing!
peace corps.
for those of you who don't know, my post-graduate plans consist of packing up and heading out for a 27 month adventure serving in the Peace Corps. In January, I was nominated for a teaching position in Central/South America departing in June. Welp, it's now May and I've yet to be medically cleared. i guess whenever you have childhood glaucoma, your medical history becomes a bit more complicated. needless to say, the past 4 months have been a whirlwind of faxes, emails, doctors' appointments, and phone conversations where I begged various offices to send information to the men and women who were holding court over whether I was ok to serve in a foreign country with limited medical resources. As of now, I'm in an awkward state of limbo, where I could be leaving as early as June 22 and as late as September. Though most would be panicking about the seriously ambiguous state of my summer, I am surprisingly at peace. I feel like (fingers crossed!) that my next two years will be filled with obstacles and frustrations and this is just a slight taste of what's to come, and I'd be wise to learn well these lessons about patience, perseverance, and timing.
it's surreal to think that my college years are now over. the past four years have been the best yet, but i think that's why i was able to leave without a whole lot of sadness. I guess I just feel like my time was well spent, that i created friendships that are deep and meaningful, that I was challenged by my professors and gained a little bit of insight along the way. and with all of that within me, i was able to leave believing that life still holds greater adventures and even better years. it was still difficult though to say farewell to a place that was the center of so many joyous occasions, triumphs, failures, fearful realizations, and beautiful moments. but, onward to new people and places. :)
I'm not really sure how to end these entries. tonight i'll close with a beautiful passage from the book i'm currently reading. from Marilynne Robinson's Gilead:
"I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens its eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then has to close its eyes again. I know this is all mere apparition compared to what awaits us, but it is only lovelier for that. there is a human beauty in it. and i can't believe that, when we have all been changed and put on incorruptibility, we will forget our fantastic condition of mortality and impermanence, the great bright dream of procreating and perishing that meant the whole world to us. In eternity this world will be Troy, I believe, and all that has passed here will be the epic of the universe, the ballad they sing in the streets. Because I don't imagine any reality putting this one in the shade entirely, and I think piety forbids me to try" (57)
annnnnnnnnd done.